“Choose Kindness”
                            My thoughts as we begin the new year

As we look back on 2012, most of us will agree that is was a year particularly full of conflict of every variety imaginable, from conventional wars, armed violence, and, the less violent but as pervasive  forms of interpersonal conflict we see daily, as practitioners.  Others have grouped these  “man against society”, “man against nature”, “man against man”, and “man against self.”
 

 

We live in a society that seems to be surrounded by conflict, exacerbated by a 24 hour news cycle that, at times, seems to glamorize all forms of violence. For many, this glamorization is all couched in a culture that has been and is fueled by games, film, and media that numbs us to the violence itself and , in fact, to violent communication.

While my thoughts can easily lead to a discussion of these very large structural and global issues — I choose to, for these thoughts — to look at our behavior in a very narrow way, how each one of us treats every other one of us, daily.

We all know that people tend to behave in ways that they perceive are expected of them, and more often the way the mob or group expects them to behave.  After all, to see this phenomenon in a practical way — We can all act like thoughtful, contemplative mediators when we practice our trade…but, we can easily become a rabid screaming fan when we watch our favorite sports team at the arena.

The example of group mentality, however, can go to extremes as well. I was at a game recently and a fan was chosen to attempt to win a certificate of some sort. Well, he missed all of the attempts at the basket. A huge portion of the fans in attendance, chose to “BOO” the already embarrassed fan who was chosen by lot! Somewhere, somehow, it has become acceptable to BOO the failure of another, when we are in a group? (This is not an isolated occurrence —  I have seen it happen, when someone does a not so brilliant job of singing karaoke in front of 20,00+ fans).

I ask– if you were walking down the street, and someone stumbled, would you BOO or make fun of that person. Of course not! You would offer a helping hand. So, in my view, we should applaud the already  embarrassed fan for trying!

So, it is my hope and desire that we can start 2013 with this grand idea  —

              We can begin to reshape our culture, one act at a time —
               by choosing to be kind and supportive of others, and
                     those we know, and especially those we do not.

By choosing to change how we, as individuals, behave in  “man against man” situations,  we may be able to affect “man against society” and “man against nature” conflicts.

Hopefully and ultimately, when if we can create this new culture, we may have a chance of  lessening the “man against self” violence that I believe is at the root of tragedies that affect the innocent, so permanently etched in our minds by the children at Newtown.

                                            “Choose Kindness”

                           “You cannot do a kindness too soon,
                                          for you never know
                                           how soon it will be
                                                     too late.”
                                      ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson